it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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