WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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