Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
