i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
