im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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