Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I did not marry a roomba.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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