I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
