WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
