I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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