the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
