1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I will be naked everywhere
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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