I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
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He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
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the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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