I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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