You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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