that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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