He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
