morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
