When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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