just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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