Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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