Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize