You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
