do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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