Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
