Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
