umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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