thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize
