I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
