Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
