She announced her abortion via fbk
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
