Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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