Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Is that strawberry winking at me??
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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