Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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