i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I can't turn off my feet"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize