No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
