we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm gonna fight the coyote
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
