Soap is not a condiment
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
