Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i already hear my dad disowning me
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
