so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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