you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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