can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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