let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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