Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
