Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize