I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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