take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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