Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Boobs are out for the taking
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
