Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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