just tell him i said nine months
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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