operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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