and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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