please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
should my penis look like a turkey
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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