The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
