I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My ass is underappreciated
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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