I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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