I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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