For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
