But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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