he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
