I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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