wat bout pragnant strippers??
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
How's work?
Spinning.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
