make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
